TRUST....a 5 letter word that has sooooo much meaning

Everyday I find myself struggling with several personal issues that are deep rooted in my character. A prominent one is TRUST, I have been struggling with this since I can remember. I believe that my trust issues started with my father...a man that until I was eight wanted nothing to do with me. Thus, I was reluctant to form a relationship with him because in the back of my mind I feared he would leave again. Which began the trend of only allowing people to only get "so" close. As a way to control the situation/relationship and what people know about me, which I believed could shape the person's idea of me. Living life like this didn't allow for me to have many "true" friends because anyone that wants to get close to me were scared away by my distant, aloof attitude--which I used as a facade to stop me from getting hurt, but it really stopped me from finding happiness. Leaving for college allowed me to get a different prospective of relationships, love, and trust. I soon found out that opening your heart can bring so much more joy than pain. I'm not saying that I don't feel apprehensive sometimes when entrusting people with things dear to my heart like, who I like, my personal feelings, and my past. But I try everyday to push myself to new heights because I know staying where I am will not allow me to achieve the goals God has for me.....so no matter how much I may want to continue to guard my heart I realize that it will get me nowhere. In addition, I know that the past has great affect on what I do in the future, but my past doesn't DECIDE my future I do, so with faith I move forward believing that God will guide me....so I put all my trust in Him, which allows me to have less fear of what "man" thinks/believes, so I'm growing into a more trusting person....but it will not happen overnite.