REVELATION

Soooooo today I had one of the biggest revelations ever. First let me start with saying that yesterday I was so distraught about my brain and heart conflicting with each other. Yet today I feel released and happy beyond reason because I conquered my fear.......talking to my crush. Let me tell you the story: As a member of a sorority at the beginning of every year we have to participate in an activities fair to show the freshmen what organizations are on Bradley's campus. Of course all the NPHC organizations are sitting next to each other, which meant I was a good 10 feet away from my supposed ex-crush. Originally, I was a little nervous but that soon faded as I began to talk and have fun with the other people around me. Then my soror/friend thought of the great idea to go mess with them since they didn't look happy sitting at their table. We walk over there asking for "more information" about their fraternity...just trying to make them laugh, which it did. But as I'm standing there my hand wouldn't stop shaking & I was soooooooo scared they would notice that I was nervous talking to them. After making them laugh my nervousness subsided and it allowed me to realize--there was nothing for me to be afraid of in the first place. I believe that God continued to place him on my heart--even after I didn't "like" him anymore--because I needed to be released from the hold he still had over me.  And I was released today because after talking, laughing, and joking with him I realized that I was putting him to a higher standard than everyone else. Like I expected him to be this great witty, smart, amazing person when really he is just a regular guy who is kinda funny and pretty cool. I thank God for this opportunity because I needed to be released from these feelings. Don't get me wrong I still kinda sorta like him but now I can see him as a normal individual and not some magnificent being. *sigh of relief* This will make this school year so much better because as I begin to realize that I don't have to put on a fascade for anyone...having that one person that I can't truly be me with would make me feel bad.I think I will sleep easier tonight knowing that I was able to face this problem head on......yes!