Music Progression

As I listen to the radio, its become apparent that hip-hop is making a turn for the worse. Not only does it objectify women, glorify drugs, crime, & money, but it also is now glorifying evil. From Jay-Z's t-shirt "Friend or Foe" accompanied by a picture of Jesus to Kayne West speaking about "jumping out of the window" in his song Power. Does no one understand the power of the tongue. People listen to music to gain direction and understanding of trends so if an artist is glorifying evil and puts it to a "nice" beat, everyone will be dancing it to it. Not knowing what they are speaking into their lives. I had to seriously look at the music that I was listening to to make sure that I was not falling prey to this movement towards destruction. Low & behold I was listening to songs that tell me to engage in casual sex, & that drinking and partying is the root of happiness. I recently started listening to mostly gospel music because I realized that music can envoke feelings that may not be true to you naturally. For example, I listen to Jamie Foxx " Weekend Lover" and immediately start thinking about this cute boy I saw in class and how I want to "jump his bones." Normally, I wouldn't be thinking about that but once the thoughts and feelings were put into my head, I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I encourage everyone to take a serious look at their music selection because it has a great impact on our lives.Causing us to act in inapproiate ways. Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." You can speak prosperity, happiness, love into your life, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in the present struggles that we forget that we have the power to change our lives.  

cue low soothing music....I'm about read some poetry

Don't get me wrong I love Facebook, Twitter..all that, but I wrote a social/ political poem for class about it...called, what else, SOCIAL NETWORKING:


A blue and white logo
invites him into a world
where companions,
classmates,
and strangers all share
the nametag of friend.
Providing a connection
that replace phone calls,
but adds late night chats
and wall posts.
Missing out on the joy
of ‘you had to have been there’
moments.
Never feeling the comforts
of a much-needed hug.
His computer never sleeps,
his keys scream for rest.
Fingers that grow stiffer
with every status.
Attached to this life
he has created, far from reality.
Deceived by notifications,
believing it means
people care.
Looking to facebook
as a release, from the world
he lives in.
Sinking deeper
into this fantasy,
longing for the two worlds
to merge.
Gradually his desire
for phone calls
will no longer
exist.
Completely consumed
with feelings
of acceptance from people
he will never meet.
Not realizing
that social networking
cannot replace the beauty
of experiencing life
unregulated by a delete key.

Poetry time *snap snap*

Well, for my poetry class we had to make a portfolio of our work, sooooo here is one of those poems:


Unfound Path



Forty other hands
competing for her attention.
Books that are missing pages
let alone history. Children craving
an education, forced to settle
for less.


Parents wishing their children
could become drug dealers,
basketball players.
Realizing that’s the only way
for them, to leave the hood.


A government
that has discarded them.
Believing they are nothing
but trouble.


Where do you go,
when you are surrounded
by negativity?


You could go left:
To a college
far beyond your means
financially and academically
forcing you to abandon
your dream. As your high school
didn’t prepare you for college.
Assuming you’d
choose another path.


You could go right:
Living a life of crime,
having more money
then you could imagine.

Secretly watched
by police, as they find
the perfect time to intervene


You could go back:
Working two part-time jobs,
as your family barely survives
on welfare.
Fearing illness, injury
since you don’t have insurance.


You want to go forward,
but don’t know how
to get there.

Hmmmm...I Thought it was Over.....wrong

SOOOO you remember how I was excited that I no longer was crushing over THAT boy. However, this semester I still seemed to feel his spirit on me like we were connected for some reason. Not understanding I began to pray, asking God to reveal the reasoning behind our connection. God, I believe, showed me in sections his involvement in my life through my dreams even before I asked. Because the dreams started over the summer before last & didn't ask until this fall. First, when he started appearing in my dreams he was a person I gazed at from afar but with each dream I got closer and closer until he was in my social circle(greek circle). To when we were actually playing together like we were friends to the most recent dream where we were together...not sure if as a couple or just really close friends. The interesting thing is that I asked God to give me a sign because I'm unable to determine if our spirits are truly connected or if my flesh just wanted him. Then that's when I have the dream about us being together....I have no clue what happened in the dream I just remember we were together. I pray that God reveals our true purpose together in His time because I'm beginning to believe that its more to our connection than a little crush like I thought before. I also pray that we will allow God to bring us together in His methods, for His glory. I may want to know everything about what's going to happen between us but I know God has a rhyme and a reason for everything. I trust that He will provide me with a wonderful mate that will cherish me for a lifetime. It maybe my ex-crush...maybe not but I have faith in God & that's all I need.

Oh What a Semester

To say that this semester was hectic would be an understatement. Being the president of NPHC, dealing with classes, and participating in my own sorority the last few months have been a blur. Thankfully, tomorrow will be considered the last day of the fall semester. Where do I begin in describing this semester? First, I was completely excited that I no longer had feelings for my ex-crush because it took a weight off my shoulders. Since it meant that I no longer would worry about ever dating him or anything....I was free, so I thought (but that's another story). Not thinking about him constantly gave me spare head space to think about productive things like graduate school, graduating, SENIOR YEAR...you know, fun stuff. However, since he is in NPHC I still have to see him frequently, but its cool. Ohhh & now he has a girlfriend...a delta....and they are such cakers because you see them hold hands, kissing in public...nasty. Its not like I'm jealous but I just don't like such p.d.a.
Second, this semester has been a HUGE time of development in my walk with God because this semester God revealed to me that I have the gift of healing through the creepiest dream EVER. I casted out a demon out of my younger brother with the help of my mother. I was soooooo scared after this dream since I had never experienced a dream like this. Being scared of what God had enstored for me...I ran, for weeks. During this time I couldn't sleep, I was eating randomly...it was bad. So I eventually surrendered to God, releasing my gifts over to him. Then the next week after we came back from church my hands started feeling weird, then they began to radiate heat...my hands were soooooo hot. To top it off when my friends (who are spiritually sensitive) touched my hands it would send tingles up their arms. Idk what God wants me to do with this gift, but I'm open to anything & everything. Believing that I'm blessed that God choose me to use, trusting me with this gift...so I better be greatful & use it for the glory of Him.
This semester was crazy but memoriable......low key I'm kinda going to miss my undergrad years.

I'm BAAAAAACK!!!!

I know its been a while, but school has really been taking up most of my time. But I'm back with some poetry:


Façade 


His eyes pierced my soul
As if with one glance, he knew
everything.
Seeing past the fancy car,
clothes and into the secrets
I hold dear.
I’ve never felt so exposed.


Reluctant to give him
all of me, in fear
I won’t be good enough.


Despite my doubt,
he showered me with love,
and warmth. Breaking down
the walls upon my heart.


He taught me how to live.


Showing me the beauty
in a moment. Taking time
to share stories of wisdom.


Rearranging my values,
teaching me
that friendship, memories
are worth more
than anything in my closet.


Advising me on how
I can be more like him.


As our love grows,
so does my courage
to discard my façade.
Finally seeing,
what he saw all along.

No longer deceiving myself

Encourage Yourself

"No one is harder on you than YOU" idk who I got this from but its completely true to my life. Always seem to find myself being my hardest critic. I have this feeling that I need to be perfect at all times and it can be stressful to think this way. I believe this complex came from my mother wanting me to be the best & no matter how well I was doing she still lied to make me seem even better.....like whatever I do isn't good enough. In an effort to please her I would go above and beyond that, so that maybe one day she wouldn't have to lie. Yet after a while, it just became a way of life...my clothes have to be ironed, hair neat, and shoes clean or I can't walk out of my room. Sometimes I wish I could leave Harper dressed a little less than perfect, but I would continuously be fixing my hair or straightening my clothes....its an obsession. Even if I am neat...I find myself checking my reflection in windows, shadows, and even showcases. I feel that my body image is distorted b/c ppl think that I look way nicer than I believe & I am continuously trying to see what they see or even better what God sees in me. This complex puts a lot of stress on me because I'm trying to live up to a standard that NO ONE can achieve. With time I hope that I can decrease this behavior b/c I know its not healthy yet there is always something in the back of my mind telling me to re-iron my clothes, fix my hair, make sure your face looks good. I just need to learn to ENCOURAGE MYSELF & BELIEVE THAT I AM INDEED BEAUTIFUL : )