Encourage Yourself

"No one is harder on you than YOU" idk who I got this from but its completely true to my life. Always seem to find myself being my hardest critic. I have this feeling that I need to be perfect at all times and it can be stressful to think this way. I believe this complex came from my mother wanting me to be the best & no matter how well I was doing she still lied to make me seem even better.....like whatever I do isn't good enough. In an effort to please her I would go above and beyond that, so that maybe one day she wouldn't have to lie. Yet after a while, it just became a way of life...my clothes have to be ironed, hair neat, and shoes clean or I can't walk out of my room. Sometimes I wish I could leave Harper dressed a little less than perfect, but I would continuously be fixing my hair or straightening my clothes....its an obsession. Even if I am neat...I find myself checking my reflection in windows, shadows, and even showcases. I feel that my body image is distorted b/c ppl think that I look way nicer than I believe & I am continuously trying to see what they see or even better what God sees in me. This complex puts a lot of stress on me because I'm trying to live up to a standard that NO ONE can achieve. With time I hope that I can decrease this behavior b/c I know its not healthy yet there is always something in the back of my mind telling me to re-iron my clothes, fix my hair, make sure your face looks good. I just need to learn to ENCOURAGE MYSELF & BELIEVE THAT I AM INDEED BEAUTIFUL : )